Bittersweet

Los Angeles was amazing. It was way, way different than I thought it would be though. God and I definitely had two very different things in mind for me. God's plan won. Go figure.
I thought for sure I'd be working with little kids and, as much as I thought it would kill me, I was really excited. I love kids. But then I got there the first day and, sure enough, was in a group of kids. I was content. But I felt like my heart just wasn't quite in it. I didn't know why, and it bugged the heck out of me. The next morning during our devotions I prayed about it. Something just didn't seem quite right to me. I didn't like it. This was too different from what I was expecting.
So, we get to VBS and I'm hanging out with some of the kids and someone comes up and gives me my name tag. Houston, we have a problem. My name is written in yellow. Yesterday I was on the black team. I'm not supposed to be on the yellow team. This isn't what I planned. So I try and figure out what's going on, and I discover that the entire yellow team is now teenage girls. They needed another girl leader and I won the lottery. Huge red flag there. I'm terrible at coming out of my shell around people my own age. It takes me time. More time than four days would allow. God was making a mistake. I couldn't do this. No way, no how.
And next thing I know, I'm in the church with six teenage girls. I've only briefly introduced myself to half of them, and even that was a stretch for me. I'm not one to go up and start a conversation. But, for reasons unbeknownst to me, I walked up to those three girls and introduced myself. Selwanna, Avis, and Asia. And me. They were friendly enough. They weren't rude. They didn't blow me off.
But I still felt shy. Self-concious. Unsure. I felt like nothing on earth could make me come out of my comfortable little shell. But that's where I miscalculated. Nothing on earth, no. But God in heaven obviously wasn't going to let my stubborn shyness get in the way of his work.
I give credit to nobody but God for this. Somehow, God managed to shatter that cave I'd gone into.
I formed a bond with those three girls in particular that I never would have thought possible given the amount of time. It was nothing I can explain. It was a "God thing." By the end of the week we were laughing and joking like real friends.
I felt a strong pull to Asia in particular. She was the youngest of the three sisters in the group. Entering 7th grade. A year younger than my sister. But you couldn't tell by looking at her. She looked and acted my age. She went out of her way to say hi to me as soon as she got there everyday. She even crashed a couple of the pictures I was taking without my knowing it. I'm glad she did. Anything to help me remember.
It was so awesome getting to know these girls. But so, so heartbreaking when I had to leave. Selwanna even mentioned how people come and form these relationships for a week and then leave, never to be seen again. Just like we were doing. It was awful. But wonderful. Bittersweet.
And I wouldn't trade it for anything.


I got their address, and I intend to write them very soon. I have high hopes that this friendship will continue and deepen, even if we can't see each other.

God is Amazing.